Can I just say...

That for the first time in a while I'm really fucking happy? Cause I am.
I mean, theres a few things that if I had the power to change, I would, but really, I can forgive those.
However, one of the changes I need to make, and WILL make, is that I need to clean my room.
Perhaps tonite.

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I really really really want this.

panda

(side note, I'm not a furry at all, I just want to be a panda)

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im sick of fucked up nights
im sick of being alone
i caved.
im pathetic and weak and a shitty person.
im sorry.

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Going for what I want.

SO this weekend has been dubbed the weekend of bad decisions.

Its okay though. Mistakes can be made if only to learn from them.

Had a good chat with my homie today. He said that yeah, its all well and good to sit back and let things come to me, but if I really want something, I need to go out and get it. And he's right. Plus he fed me cheesecake. Any friend who's willing to feed you cheesecake is a friend worth keeping in my books.

But seriously, can I mention how much I love my friends? My friends, who hold my hair and my purse while I'm sprawled on the floor of the Albert puking. My friends who stick me in the backseat of a cab and make sure that I get home okay. My friends who hug me and tell me that I'm not an idiot for doing what I did. My friends who are there for me, no matter what, who text me at 4 am to make sure I'm okay, who text me at work all day to keep me entertained, who tell me I'm gorgeous even when I'm fat, who tell me I look beautiful after I have cried my eyes out, and who encourage me to get what I want.

I love my friends.

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writing this down so i remembr

profit margins
cab rides home
much love to homies
making out with the worlds most beautiful girl
telling my lifelong crush that he was my lifelong crush
dancing on stage
cool kids as played by paul
getting hit on by girls?
stealing joes hat! it looked better on me homie.
puking on my shoes
puking on everything
puking in the albert bathroom
crying when i got home
steve being the best friedn anyone couold ever have ever
publish this shit to facebook tomorrow
ghost world is on teletoon!
dont get this drunk ever.
im fucking retarded.
i cant worry about htese people.
i need to be in my warm bed right now sleeping please.

i love you satjeet and joe. so much. you're such good friends thank you for taking care of me.

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Longest Week Ever....

My brain was fucking bubbling over with thoughts today, but I just can't seem to articulate them! It's like that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine doesn't have sex for like, 3 weeks, and gets dumber and dumber. Thats how I feel. Only its been like, 6 weeks. So imagine how stupid I feel right now. Anyways, here's a dream recap for ya'll. I was in a Superstore-like supermarket. Buying meat at the butchers counter. My friend Kody was the butcher. (Holy Significance?). I was there with my friend Sabrina. I was in line and I start talking to this girl who was wearing a Dude Fest teeshirt and had a tattoo of an arm band of pandas surrounded but a red background. All the pandas were doing different things.Noting this specifically so that I can remember it for when I plan my next tattoo. Anyways I was blocking the whole line so Kody was like, get lost! And I said, I'll leave if you make a coffee date with me. So he did, and then i leave, grab my stuff and go home to get ready. Sabrina drives me home and we go to my apartment which was in the basement of a house. The cats had destroyed everything. I had to clean up and lost track of time, didn't have time to get ready for coffee, and had to leave. Thats when i woke up.

Whats Up Houston Whats Uuuuuuuuuup

Don't you love it when someone just suddenly drops off from talking to you? Good thing I'm a giant bitch anyways and take shit like this in stride. Been to the Gym every day this week. Lost another 5Lbs. Score. I'll be so hot by the time summer rolls around, I wont be able to keep the dudes offa me. Except the fact that I'm obnoxious.