Can I just say...

That for the first time in a while I'm really fucking happy? Cause I am.
I mean, theres a few things that if I had the power to change, I would, but really, I can forgive those.
However, one of the changes I need to make, and WILL make, is that I need to clean my room.
Perhaps tonite.

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I really really really want this.

panda

(side note, I'm not a furry at all, I just want to be a panda)

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im sick of fucked up nights
im sick of being alone
i caved.
im pathetic and weak and a shitty person.
im sorry.

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Going for what I want.

SO this weekend has been dubbed the weekend of bad decisions.

Its okay though. Mistakes can be made if only to learn from them.

Had a good chat with my homie today. He said that yeah, its all well and good to sit back and let things come to me, but if I really want something, I need to go out and get it. And he's right. Plus he fed me cheesecake. Any friend who's willing to feed you cheesecake is a friend worth keeping in my books.

But seriously, can I mention how much I love my friends? My friends, who hold my hair and my purse while I'm sprawled on the floor of the Albert puking. My friends who stick me in the backseat of a cab and make sure that I get home okay. My friends who hug me and tell me that I'm not an idiot for doing what I did. My friends who are there for me, no matter what, who text me at 4 am to make sure I'm okay, who text me at work all day to keep me entertained, who tell me I'm gorgeous even when I'm fat, who tell me I look beautiful after I have cried my eyes out, and who encourage me to get what I want.

I love my friends.

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writing this down so i remembr

profit margins
cab rides home
much love to homies
making out with the worlds most beautiful girl
telling my lifelong crush that he was my lifelong crush
dancing on stage
cool kids as played by paul
getting hit on by girls?
stealing joes hat! it looked better on me homie.
puking on my shoes
puking on everything
puking in the albert bathroom
crying when i got home
steve being the best friedn anyone couold ever have ever
publish this shit to facebook tomorrow
ghost world is on teletoon!
dont get this drunk ever.
im fucking retarded.
i cant worry about htese people.
i need to be in my warm bed right now sleeping please.

i love you satjeet and joe. so much. you're such good friends thank you for taking care of me.

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Longest Week Ever....

My brain was fucking bubbling over with thoughts today, but I just can't seem to articulate them! It's like that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine doesn't have sex for like, 3 weeks, and gets dumber and dumber. Thats how I feel. Only its been like, 6 weeks. So imagine how stupid I feel right now. Anyways, here's a dream recap for ya'll. I was in a Superstore-like supermarket. Buying meat at the butchers counter. My friend Kody was the butcher. (Holy Significance?). I was there with my friend Sabrina. I was in line and I start talking to this girl who was wearing a Dude Fest teeshirt and had a tattoo of an arm band of pandas surrounded but a red background. All the pandas were doing different things.Noting this specifically so that I can remember it for when I plan my next tattoo. Anyways I was blocking the whole line so Kody was like, get lost! And I said, I'll leave if you make a coffee date with me. So he did, and then i leave, grab my stuff and go home to get ready. Sabrina drives me home and we go to my apartment which was in the basement of a house. The cats had destroyed everything. I had to clean up and lost track of time, didn't have time to get ready for coffee, and had to leave. Thats when i woke up.

Whats Up Houston Whats Uuuuuuuuuup

Don't you love it when someone just suddenly drops off from talking to you? Good thing I'm a giant bitch anyways and take shit like this in stride. Been to the Gym every day this week. Lost another 5Lbs. Score. I'll be so hot by the time summer rolls around, I wont be able to keep the dudes offa me. Except the fact that I'm obnoxious.

Exciting Weekends Part One.

SO! I had a little bout with the anxiety, but I should be back on track.

Things are okay! I've been going out alot, but thats okay! I'm also flat broke, but that may be the result of going out all the time. Hah.

I need to start chronicling my weekends alot better because they've started to be a little bit crazy, and I would be nice to be able to remember some of them.

Like how on the long weekend, I was out Friday, Saturday, and Sunday! But for the life of me, I cannot remember what I did in detail. OH! Now I remember.
Friday was Red Bull 3 Style with Janelle, Steve, and Sarah

(photo by Paul Corvin)

Saturday was the Toad with everyone ever. No pictures, but I drank about a liter of gin to myself, and was beautifully drunk all night. Probably for the best there was no pictures hah.

Sunday was DJ Eleven at the Pyramid, and it was probably one of the best parties so far.

(photo by Brittany Hildebrandt)

Then I had to work all week. Blah blah blah.

Then LAST weekend...

Friday was Jokers Of The Scene, where I went with Steve, but he bailed super early, so I hung out with Karlie, Amanda, Dani, Ryse et al. I have to tell you that them Exchange Event Centre makes the BEST vodka lime and water's EVER.

here is one of said VLW's dripping down my shirt.

Saturday was White Teez and Stunnah Shadez with Sarah Pogz. That was a fucking crazy night. There were fights, someone through a beer bottle at the DJs, Lauren got punched in the face. Obviously it started sucking, so when I got a txt from Kody that him and some friends were at the Windsor, you know I was down for escaping. So me and Lauren walked over there and partied there till they closed the bar. Lauren went home and I went to hang out at Kody's friend's Nik's place until about 3:30 when Kody and I walked home and I passed out. (I'm assuming he did too. Hah)


Then I had to work all week again. Boo.

This weekend is looking promising as well. First of all, yesterday I went to Electric Babylon to book an appointment for my FIRST TATTOO EVER! I'm going to see Andrew (aka Panda), and hes doing me a trad style panda with flowers and bamboo. I'm VERY excited. I have a couple months to get pumped about it, but I will be so happy once I see a drawing.

Then last night I went to see Crystal Castles and Health with Steve, Karlie and Amber. Pretty much anyone who is ANYONE was there. It was a blast. I'll post more about this on Sunday.

Tonite is Getting Cold Stupid with Cupid: Hockey vs Rap. I'm excited!

I'll be surprised if anyone actually took the time to read this. Lol. Cross posted to Facebook and Blogger.