frustrations.

I'm incredibly hurt. But what else is new. Again and again, I elect to trust you and try to be your friend, but every time I open my life to you, you hurt me. So I'm done with it. I'm done with trying to make plans with you, only to have you fling them aside at the drop of a hat. I'm tired of trying to be nice to your friends who clearly don't like me at all, but don't have the balls to say it to my fucking face. I'm tired of the blow out fights we have because you don't see what you do as hurtful, and when I do tell you that it hurts me, you try to tell me that it shouldn't, and that I'm being irrational (because really, when someone hurts you, they are the ones who can tell you what hurts you and what doesn't, right?). And the only reason I'm writing this very passive aggressive blog entry, is because I am trying to avoid one of said blow out fights, because I honestly think that having one right now would land me in the hospital. The best part about this is that you probably wont even read this. Or you will and you'll ignore it. Or you will, and you'll come to me and ask me why I made all of this public (because I'm clearly not allowed to talk about how I feel) and chastise me yet again and make me feel like garbage for actually caring about our friendship. And even better than that, is that this is completely my own fault, because I keep letting you in, again and again and again. I keep doing this to myself, because I AM the only one that cares about this friendship. So thats it. I'm really tired of being dragged through this when you clearly don't want to be involved. And this time I'm not going to wait around for you to come to the realization that you've lost a really good friend, so when you do come to apologize, don't be surprised when I say, thats not enough anymore.

I'm sorry to anyone that isn't who this is about had to read it, but it gives a very good insight to what my life feels like right now, and why I'm so stressed and unable to maintain a friendship with anyone else, because I have been putting most of my effort into trying to save this one, only to have it backfire on me every time. But that's going to change starting now. I'm not going to let this dictate how I live or how I feel anymore. I'm finished. From now on I only want my friends to be positive people who help me when I need help and I help them when they need help. People who lift each other up instead of holding each other down. And people who can see when their actions hurt someone, and own up to it and fix the problem without having to be told. I have good friends like this that I have been neglecting because I wanted so badly for this friendship to work. And to those friends, I apologize.

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lolz

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Real time for a Real update.

Hello everyoneeeee.

This week has been so crazy!

I got my shoes (the neon court forces).

I found my tweezers!

I painted my first piece:



I bought a bike that rules!

(but I cant ride it because i suck at riding bikes)

and I spent some time in the studio last weekend


Tonite i spent some time with my friend Satjeet making the best cupcakes that you have ever had. I think we are going to go into business making custom cupcakes for people! What do you guys think???

I also saw Wall-E this weekend, and discovered that McNally Robinson is restocking Ready Made Magazine!!!

Unf, best weekend ever. Too bad its back to the grind on monday :(

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blah blah blog

I've been meaning to write a new entry for a while now.

Not happening anytime soon.

For now here is a funny blog entry someone else wrote about the new Girl Talk album.

Also read the rest of the blog. Its fantastic. (and has boobies).












(no, really. incredibly hot tits.)











tata fr now.

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Saturday Morning Round-up.

Good morning!

This week has been incredibly rough on me, I have to say. Work is stressfull, my roommate came back, and its been raining a bit here. Last weekend I barely got anything accomplished that I wanted to get done, so I think that contributed to the whole week being thrown off kilter. But a few good things did happen for sure! Let's make a list of them:

My shoes came in at Urban Bakery! These are the ones I will be getting as soon as my next paycheck comes in:
 

I also have these ones on hold:



so I can't wait for some new shoes!

My panda necklace also came in the mail! Very exciting. If you are interested in anything from this woman, I would say snatch it up quick! Her pieces are BEAUTIFUL and very original (I looked everywhere for a panda charm like this, all I could find was owls and deers in stores, blech) and her prices are SO reasonable (I've seen pieces like these elsewhere for $100+). Here is a link to her eBay store

With the return of my roommate came 1.89 liters of Turkey Hill Raspberry Iced Tea and M.I.A.-Kala on vinyl!

I moved my painting and screen printing stuff into the new shared studio space! (Pictures to come soon)

And to cap everything off, my boss at work is going to buy me the 36"x36" quarter inch plexi I need for my exposure unit!! Woo!! I've worked up some plans which I plan on posting online once I am finished, but basically the idea for my unit is going to be an all in one for storage, exposing, and hand printing, with only a 3ft squared shop footprint! Now if only I could find one of these tiny adorable drying racks.

Today, I am hoping to hit  a couple of places to go looking for a bike. Wish me luck!

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Things I am going to do, or have done this week/end.

I get more done before 9 a.m. than the army!

This morning, I lost my tweezers (poo), called my bank to fix things up (yay), and threw out all the garbage in my bedroom (finally).

Today, I have Kara's grad, taking her to get her makeup done, hopefully she can come over for a little bit after to help straighten the back of my hair? Ha. And hopefully Siuleen has a minute to do my eyebrows.

Tomorrow, I will hopefully be building one of these:


and then going to meet Walter to give him the checks for our studio space!! So excited.

Yesterday I went to the Urban Bakery to give them these:


and pick up these:


my next big purchase will probably be a new bike, something along the lines of these:





and if anyone is so inclined to spend $12,000 on little old me, Chanel makes a fabulous coaster bike!


(all bike pictures taken from coolhunting's article on bikes for girls. squee!)

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My favorite thing to do is complain...

I just need to say something about this


(this ad chosen specifically for someone special. heh)

http://www.facebook.com/groups.php?friends#/group.php?gid=16687558019

I'm sorry, but evolution in an area is NORMAL. The village has been steadily changing for the past TEN YEARS! I've lived near here for almost my entire life and yes, there is "chains" moving in, but as far as I know, there has always been "chains"? Safeway, Shoppers Drug Mart, etc.. Oh, so sad, a Starbucks moves into a neighbourhood. People cry out; OH NOES, THE LOCAL COFFEE SHOP OF SECOND CUP WILL LOSE TEH BUSINESS! (Um, Second Cup is also a chain!).. American Apparel moves in, and, despite the fact that I don't think they have a store in ANY MALL across North America, people of Winnipeg say PUT THAT SHIT IN POLO PARK WHERE IT BELONGS!! (Again, wtf). There are so many great local clothing store surrounding AA, that if you really don't like the fact that they "took over" the neighbourhood, shop at the local stores!!!!!!! I haven't heard a single local shop owner complain about the fact that AA has moved in. It has opened up many more jobs than the Collective could ever have offered, it brings teh kidz with the parents money out from the suburbs to spend not only in AA, but in Hush, Shout, Out of the Blue, and Mixtape, and gave a much needed facelift to a building that was basically one of the ugliest structures in the village (peeling ass red and blue paint with a terrible awning that was torn and falling apart, broken windows, and black frames around all of them, dark and gloomy all around, and yes I admit that brown maybe isn't the nicest colour, but they really brightened up the whole area with their well lit windows and bright coloured displays).

I'm sorry that you all lost your precious Indie night, 80's night, and Goth night, but lets face it, Indie has been replaced by Dj Nights, 90's are the new 80's, and if you still went to goth night, I really don't care about your opinion on things. (Just kidding, but really? Goth night?)

I'm sure once this trend of tights and teeshirts, Arafat scarves and fake Wayfarers, skinny jeans and gladiator sandles ends, American Apparel will go the way of the rave stores and the many many used cd shops that used to grace the village at one point.

slash end rant.

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